Portrait of a young man

MGTOW, Women, and Sex

Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW), commonly called the marriage strike, is the rising phenomenon of men abandoning their stereotypical roles. Adopting MTGOW means rejecting social norms which are both irrational and toxic to personal well-being.

Outside of the Men’s Rights Movement (MRM) a number of names exist for practitioners of MGTOW. Most of those labels are contrived to coerce or silence men through shame. “Peter Pan Syndrome”, “failure to launch”, “man-baby’s” are all failing attempts to shame men back into conformity.

To date, the most accurate popular label remains the term “marriage strike”.

Some Men’s Rights Activists (MRAs) claim marriage is a viable option for self-described MGTOWs. Supporters of this notion may be motivated by a need to capture readership, or desire for a “cool sounding” acronym which overrides their grasp of the phenomenon.

The MGTOW phenomenon is individualistic by design. Mainstream critics are often confused by these men and misrepresent them. MGTOWs are not bothered by this. It is central to the practice of Men Going Their Own Way that only their own philosophies matter. What the MGTOW phenomenon means to its opponents is of little concern.

There is an element of schadenfreude, or pleasure from the misfortune of others, that MGTOWs experience when listening to their critics whine. Yet, MGTOWs share their lifestyles online out of a desire to share with other men the freedom, peace, and power which ‘going your own way’ can bring.

It’s for this reason that a common falsehood about MGTOW and women needs to be addressed:

MGTOW are celibate, sexual failures, socially crippling themselves by their aversion to women.

This is a myth.

To grasp MGTOW you must recognize the female favouring social imbalance that exists in our culture. While some women with a moral compass will avoid abusing the power they have, most have no such inhibition. Most pretend to have no conscious awareness of their own power or of their indifference to men as fellow humans.

For men considering relationships with women, this has some serious consequences. Some proponents of MGTOW advocate a total disengagement, strictly avoiding women on an ongoing basis.

In fact, for non-MGTOW men, a period of such avoidance can be therapeutic in achieving personal equilibrium. Self-identity, distinct from tribally supplied identity, is at the heart of MGTOW.

It’s also true that we are social animals. Men, even supposedly “woman hating” practitioners of MGTOW, almost all have great affection for women. Whether they will admit it or not, most harbour a deep desire to love and be loved by a woman within a relationship based on trust and affection.

The problem, of course, is the gun in the room and the willingness of the average woman to use that metaphorical gun.

Additionally, men not choosing celibacy have a hazardous course to navigate.

Nevertheless, relationships with women are possible for MGTOWs, including intimate sexual relationships. But relationships pursued in a MGTOW context do not follow a conventional pattern. It should be obvious that marriage and MGTOW cannot coexist. They are each choices excluding the other. A married man calling himself MGTOW is like a child calling himself a helicopter.

Women in MGTOW relationships must consciously reject abuse of the power our culture and laws put at their disposal. It is not enough to not fire the gun, women must take steps to remove the gun from the table.

There are techniques for practicing MGTOW which are shared within their circles. One such technique is voluntarism within relationships, as an alternative to the conventional model.

In a “girlfriend” and “boyfriend” relationship, our language implies ownership. She is “my” girlfriend. He is “my” boyfriend. This reflects a common sense of social obligation to a romantic partner. While enjoyable in the context of boyfriend or girlfriend, spending time together includes obligation. Are you sharing a bed with her because you wanted to in each case, or because that’s what you’re “supposed to do”?

In almost all cases, it’s a little from column A, and a little from column B. As this is normal, most people in such arrangements are not greatly aggrieved. But there is a thread of coercion in any such arrangement.

By contrast, consider the dynamic of a non-sexual friendship. Are you spending time with your friend because you are “supposed to”? Or are you choosing one another’s company in each case, because that’s what you want to do. That is a relationship based on voluntarism.

What happens when sex becomes a part of such a voluntarist friendship? Voluntarism is not typical to sexual relationships. It requires clear communication and trust between people practicing such a friendship. It also requires clearly defined agreement on sex, residence, and responsibility. In particular, some elements common to non-MGTOW sexual relationships may be explicitly excluded. This is because conventional relationships make assumptions which degrade the civil rights of men. These are civil and legal rights which women take for granted.

While a full listing is beyond the scope of this article, a few examples show some of the coercion in “normal” relationships.

Women enjoy a legal and social right to reproductive self-determination. This means, a woman can choose to become pregnant, or avoid pregnancy with a broad range of fertility controlling products.

To be clear, this is separate from the right to have, or to avoid having sex. Also separate is the legal and social right to use pregnancy terminating medical intervention.

By contrast, men lack the basic right of reproductive self-determination. They have no say in whether or not they become a father. This reality manifests in both law and social convention. It is evident in the absence of any reversible fertility-governing technologies for males and indifference of the family courts to the civil rights of fathers.

Standard objections are worth noting, because although common, they are also false. “He should have just kept his pants zipped up. He chose to reproduce when he chose to have sex!”

Heard this before?

It’s false and it’s dishonest. The choice to screw is not the same as the choice to reproduce.

Imagine a woman, convinced the sex she was having was “safe” because her partner claimed he’d had a vasectomy. It turns out that surprise, he was lying, and she’s pregnant. She further discovered that she has no legal, and no social right to NOT be a baby factory. She can’t even give the kid away for adoption.

Tough luck, lady, you should have kept your legs together.

Sane adults will understand that such a social and legal standard would be absurd and monstrous.

We recognize this absurdity when addressing the basic civil rights of women. But most people suffer a mental malfunction when thinking about such basic self-determination for men.

If she chose to get pregnant, got pregnant carelessly, if she became pregnant due to failed birth control, she has rights. Men do not. Pay up, sucker, or go to jail.

This is reproductive slavery, enforced in law, with wide public support. The only thing most people will object to in this claim is the use of the word slavery. Not because it’s the wrong word – it’s not. They object because they don’t like facing the fact that what they support is accurately described by that ugly word.

And all of this is obvious.

Men are adapting to this state of affairs, rejecting the compulsion to conform and reclaiming their identities. Many MGTOW don’t even know what the term means. Yet they’ve found themselves in that lifestyle despite conformist pressure of the culture around them. And the whining will likely continue.

The MGTOW phenomenon exists apart from either positive commentary or opposing opinion.

Men are starting to do the most useful thing they can by re-defining how they interact with a gender-ideological world.

This is why so many people are disturbed by the MGTOW phenomenon. They are terrified by the growing numbers of men refusing to be defined or controlled.

There is a delusion that the sexual identity, value, or appeal of a man is a commodity to be used, condemned, or praised by the public. Men who buy into this fiction make it real. In attempting to win a positive public identity, they become an exploitable public resource.

Unlike the typical male, Men Going Their Own Way are not offering their sexuality for approval. Men’s sexual identities belongs to themselves. The world can learn to deal with this, or it can burn.

And to those criticizing and condemning the growth of MGTOW as a model for men’s own lives: get used to crying.

15 thoughts on “MGTOW, Women, and Sex”

  1. This article attempts to skirt the issue by presenting “options” which don’t exist for the MGTOW. When it comes to sex, the moment a woman grants access to her genitals, his become her property. There is no voluntarism on her part. It’s all her way, and he will pay.

    The only sexual relationship which can maintain MGTOW is the professional escort. One pays for sex one way or the other, so a man might as well keep it all business and avoid opening up a pathway for the white knights of the law to interfere. Hookers don’t love their clients, so there’s no realistic chance that his genitals will become her property – and his life won’t become her play toy.

    1. Men can break the laws the same as women can.
      Men have muscles, claws, teeth, spit, and brains. Just because they command that you’re not allowed to use them doesn’t mean that you can’t use them.
      Mz. Malice is gonna have a hard fucking fight because she’s not used to being on the radar at all.

  2. Hey, once you learn the basics of MGTOW, you cannot go back. Men: It will save you heartache, money, and will restore your pride in being a man.

    Google MGTOW and become the best man you can be.

  3. I have to say that I’m a married man who is trying to get his mind around this MGTOW movement. I firmly believe what you are saying, but the problem is that I’m already married! And my wife gave me two beautiful children. The problem is that I get very little else out of the bargain. But I’ll never leave her and my children are and always will be a part of me. Never to be regretted.

    I personally feel that I am slowly moving towards a MGTOW mindset while facing serious limitations by being married with kids. But it is possible. For one thing, I can ‘go my own way’ with my kids because they don’t really have a choice in the matter. The issue is how to handle the wife.

    I feel as though I am under a constant barrage of second guessing, purposeful contradiction, and severely annoying devil’s advocate. Not to mention the everready ‘I told you so.’ I get tremendous joy and exhiliaration when I can successfully ignore all of that, make my own decision on something and then actually execute the plan. But I am left wondering why I bother and quite often what I do is totally taken for granted and comes with no appreciation. What helps me cope is the recognition that I can only affect that which is under my control. And so I should only ever try to change what is under my control. Her feelings and emotion are not under my control and so I have to always keep reminding myself that there is nothing that I can do about them. The other thing that I realize now is that as soon as I feel as though there is something in my life that I just cannot lose, or something that I think I just could not bear, I start contemplating it and preparing for it to happen. What would it be like. How would I react. Could it be stopped and/or recovered from. What specific actions would I take. That sort of thing. I used to have a delibitating fear of my secondd marriage breaking down, but with this technique I’ve prepared my psyche for it when (not if) it happens.

    Anyway, just some thoughts from a married guy.

    By the way, the subject of escorts comes up alot in MGTOW discussionss such as this and is represented as the “correct way to handle sexual relations while maintaining MGTOW.” I would say that this is very wrong. Escorts would be no different than other women and would definitely seek to manipulate and control the men who are their customers if only to maximize their livlihood. And if that means acting like they are in love with said man, so be it.

  4. @ Willy ..

    RE: Escorts ..
    I don’t use them .. but .. your wrong. You pay them to leave .. not for sex. Men can get sex without paying an escort (to leave). Especially in today’s sex positive (fem’nazi) world.

    As for the rest .. your a slave. Slave’s can not go tgeir own way. I am displaying malice with my comment. I am expressing no such thing. Just preparing you for the evil courts and judges and government and social workers in your future. You can’t prepare for that .. except to never marry. And that is the very definition of MGTOW.

    My best.

  5. MGTOW cannot be married or cohabitate with women. MGTOW can date and socialize with women and use escorts. MGTOW can also avoid women altogether if they want.

    Escorts are just service providers like a masseuse, personal trainer or a chiropractor.

  6. “While some women with a moral compass will avoid abusing the power they have, most have no such inhibition. Most pretend to have no conscious awareness of their own power or of their indifference to men as fellow humans.” That’s like a woman saying the exact same thing of most men, and it’s bullshit one way or another.

    In my observation, a lot of these “MGTOW” guys have only ever pursed high maintenance eye candy they try to chase down at night clubs, while ignoring us no frills nice girls who don’t have model quality bodies, don’t wear high cut dresses and heels, and don’t go to night clubs.

    They would rather think that these girls are average girls, and all girls are like this, than admit they are pursuing girls and women who are out of their league, and recognize that they are just as shallow as the girls and women they pursue.

    Meanwhile, us nice girls who don’t have model quality bodies, and who aren’t gold diggers, and who value things in a relationship like respect, friendship, and loyalty, sit on the sidelines being ignored, except when one of these guys gets frustrated that some other girls have rejected him, and hurls an insult our way. In my life, I’ve not only had to deal with being ignored and rejected by men, but constantly have to battle negative notions about women that men have espoused, such as notions that women in their late 20’s are desperate to have babies, so should be avoided, or women over 30 are too old and have too much baggage to be considered as a potential mate.

    No, I was not desperate to have a baby in my late 20’s, and no, I don’t have any baggage. Yes, I now am over 30, is that too old? It apparently is for a lot of guys my age.

    I think it would have been nice to find a man to have built a life, and maybe a family with, and then grow old together. I think I would have made a pretty good wife, to be honest, but I was unwanted by those self professed “nice guys”. So should I have any sympathy for those “nice” guys who didn’t want me, who tell me I am worthless because I’m over 30, and who chase eye candy at night clubs in vain?

    No. They are just as shallow as those women who rejected them.

    1. You appear to be confusing and combining pick up artists and MGTOW. Theyre not the same, and mostly non overlapping. Besides that – you’re claiming to be a unicorn. Lets assume it’s true – should you be trusted, and if so, why?

    2. If I were a feminist and you were a guy I would probably tell you something like “You sound bitter.” Because that’s more than likely what would be said, but I won’t do that, instead I want to try and explain to you why you’re still single and why men either reject you or ignore you. Now I’m going to say some things you’re probably not going to like hearing, but I’m guessing need to be said.
      First, judging from comment about men chasing women with super model bodies I’m going to assume you are either on the plump side, overweight, or down right fat. Now ask yourself, are the guys you’re mad at for not pursuing you are they overweight or fat themselves or are they on the skinny side? Because if they are overweight and ignore you than they are douchebags who are projecting their own insecurities, but if they are on the skinny or healthy side you can’t ask or demand they date or marry a woman who doesn’t take care of herself. If they are skinny or on the healthy side they’ll want a woman who is the same.
      Second, you’re probably projecting the same negative attitude you have displayed in your comment. Guys can pick up on that and will avoid you like plague.
      So if you take those two things and add in the fact that you’re over 30, then yes the chances of you finding Mr. Right and getting married are slim to none. The last thing any man wants is to be attached at the hip to is a angry, overweight, 30 something woman.
      Now I could be wrong and you’re probably not overweight and you don’t project your anger at men most of the time. I’ll tell you something else you’ll probably won’t like hearing, if you are a reasonably attractive woman and you’re not a total social misfit, chances are you’re being asked out and men are paying attention to you. The problem is that you’ve rejected or ignored them because they weren’t good looking enough, tall enough, rich enough, they played video games, they liked sports, etc.
      One last thought, look at the common denominator in the overarching reason as to why you are ignored or rejected by men. Yeah, it’s you. My advice whether you want it or heed it at all is to take a look at yourself in all aspects of your life and fix the things you think need fixing. I’d start by going to a life coach, particularly one focusing on dating and relationships. But in any event I hope you do find happiness in whatever form it may take.

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