Photo of serious man sitting on sofa with seductive woman looking at him

Breaking Your Addiction to Women

Normally I don’t offer a preface to what I have to say, but today I am identifying the intended audience for the discussion which follows.

Greetings men, gentlemen, pirates, misogynists and other evil-subhumans. Welcome.

You are all addicts. Some of you are recovering, others of you are daily servicing your addiction, with awareness, and others without any awareness. But you, brother of mine – are an addict, just as I am.

It’s not crack cocaine, it’s not heroin, it’s not methadone, or anything else usually recognized as an addictive or dangerous substance. You are addicted to pussy.

Stated more precisely, you are addicted to women. Women are the drug which keeps you on your chain. Conversely, you may be recovering from addiction. In such case, women are the drug which kept you on your chain. Much of the mainstream’s narrative aimed at you is intended to put you back into active service.

The path to recovery from your addiction is not easy, nor is it short. In fact, it is a permanent project. But you will enjoy prompt and increasing benefit as you pursue the self discovery that breaking an addiction requires.

As a starting factor in the addiction, men compete with one another for sexual opportunity and women select from those who compete. Women are the selectors in human reproduction. The same dynamic is present in much of the animal kingdom but, in humans, the power of selection is a great advantage which gives women control. We’ve known this for awhile.

Besides selecting who reproduces and who doesn’t, women also control the raising of children. For most readers of this article, it was women and who shaped you, educated you, and ruled you as you grew from an infant to a youth and into adulthood.

Women are the majority of teachers in public and private schools. In short, you were raised and trained by women. It is women who supplied you with your identity of good man or bad man, whichever you might be. Your continued standing as a “real” man or a “creep” depends to a large degree on your relationships to the women who surround you. Your identity is not your own. It’s an illusion supplied to you by your pusher.

Like it or not, you were hooked from early childhood and, recovering or not, you are, like me, an addict to your supply.

But you don’t have to keep seeking your fix. You have a choice.

The rest of this discussion lists a few choices you can make that lead away from addiction and towards breaking your destructive habit.

The look of seduction.

The female look of seduction is a nearly universal feature of the media-saturated landscape we all inhabit. It’s a look used to sell everything from hair colouring to new cars. The feminine look of seduction is found equally in porn and in mainstream marketing.

But what does that look communicate?

Whatever we call it, feminine guile, female manipulation, this look is a commercialized and amplified version of female seduction in the real world. But to a recovering addict, it doesn’t say “I want you, I’ll do anything for you” that look says “you are my lunch”.

A woman modelling that look is a predator. To clarify, this is not a sexually liberated woman, this is the angler-fish, a deep sea predator with a glowing fin as its lure, drawing prey towards its mouth. The prey believes it has found a tasty morsel of food until the angler’s jaws are closing and it’s too late to escape. In the relationship between the seductive woman and the female-attention seeking man, he is her lunch.

But for most men, a woman who tilts her head, lowers her eyelids, drops one shoulder and turns her come-hither gaze on him is almost irresistible. The reaction most men feel is gut-deep and compelling.

So, how does an individual address his own spinal reflex of attraction, and take conscious control of his own reactions?

The answer will vary for individuals, but begins with awareness of the dynamic. For a man breaking your own addiction, a conscious will to manage your reactive impulses will change your instinctive responses. As the author of this article, it took me years to do this. But I am not a special person. Anyone can re-write their own instincts and socialized behaviours.

Seeing masters and slaves.

Men and women, boyfriends and girlfriends, husbands and wives. What is visible looking at men and women together is their body language. Who walks a step behind, who’s shoulders are slumped? Who, in public, initiates aggression against their partner? Who is left to wait, as a servant, holding a purse while their partner shops for shoes?

A few weeks of conscious observation will alter your perception of the distribution of power between the sexes. What you might have known only subconsciously will be overtly visible and obvious and your newly conscious knowledge can inform your decisions and your ongoing interactions. Knowledge is power and power over yourself is the only legitimate form.

If you are in a relationship, here are some simple questions to contemplate.

Who is buying expensive gifts in this relationship?
Who is making significant sacrifice for small or trivial benefits to the other?

In considering these questions, it’s not whether each party sacrifices for the other, but that the scope of sacrifice to benefit are not symmetrical.

All human beings have the same basic needs. The Maslow hierarchy of needs offers us a scale by which these needs are sorted into priority. Basic survival needs, such as breathing and eating occupy the bottom level. Needs like self actualization and self esteem sit higher up in the scale.

In most sexual relationships, trade offs between men and women take place asymmetrically between different Maslow levels. Women address their own higher Maslow scale issues, while men address lower level needs. This is, coincidentally or not, the dynamic of masters and slaves.

Touch in the workplace.

Unless you have a dangerous job, in forestry, fishing, construction or mining, you likely work with women. You don’t touch them. Rather, you likely don’t initiate physical contact, but women do. If you approach a female co-worker you do not caress her arm or back with your hand when speaking to her. Not, at least, without risking a workplace harassment claim. But your female co-workers can, and likely do put their hands on you on a regular basis. This is how you are granted status among females in your place of employment. If the women touch you, you’re okay. If they don’t, you’re not in good standing.

Women are in control of the social narrative, and touch is theirs to give or withhold. Men in a workplace are emphatically not in control of this physical touch hierarchy. It’s necessary to point out that this is not sexual touching under discussion. The only men in a workplace who may initiate physical contact with male or female workers are bosses. Initiating touch in a work environment is a display of dominance.

Unfortunately, men objecting to unwanted touching from female co-workers are in a difficult position. The social dominance of touch by women is not recognized in a climate described as patriarchy.

A man objecting to this psychological control is seen as unbalanced, belligerent and threatening. This will be you, if you reject her touch, and the undertone of her dominance.

When a female co-worker strokes your back as if you are a pet, stiffen your body in displeasure. That is all. Let her register your discomfort at her violation of your personal space. This communication through body posture is not for her benefit, it is for yours. You have no need to explain yourself. You are breaking your own addiction.

Envision her as a man.

To escape responsibility for their bad behavior, women often skate away from responsibility on excuses supplied by the men around them – men like you. We do not entertain the same excuses for men when they behave badly yet we do support a narrative of excuse making for women. And you have done this too. Your addiction to female approval is what drives this behavior. Excusing the antisocial and sometimes violent conduct of women is not only harmful to the community in which it occurs, men’s role in constructing such excuses make it destructive to their own lives. This double standard creates cognitive dissonance. The simplest way to avoid such self inflicted dissonance is to evaluate the conduct of friends and co-workers as if they are all men. Would you cut her that much slack if she were male?

Breaking free.

These few minor shifts in perspective are not the only things you can do. Identifying some of the specifics of male addiction to females can put you on the path of breaking your addiction. This is where men must learn to disregard feminine indignation. How dare you stop allowing yourself to be controlled by female approval?

Your addiction benefits your suppliers, so they will be indignant as you decline your next fix. Indeed, the culture we inhabit is in the indignation stage as the men-on-strike phenomenon grows. If “how dare you” does not shame men back into the addiction our culture finds so useful, the indignation will become outrage. As you shed your addiction, the outrage of a culture which has grown accustomed to your addiction will likely manifest in law. It starts with shaming and will expand to force. Will you be ready?

You didn’t think this would be easy, did you?

15 thoughts on “Breaking Your Addiction to Women”

  1. It takes a group therapy plan. And with so many now educated (i.e. divorced) men to form such a group with us never married men .. it has gotten easier for us to coupe.

    Plus .. younger men choosing to never marry adding to our ranks .. things are looking good for our recovery.

    honeycomb
    recovering (woman) addict
    “Bros before Hoes”

  2. I’ve always been invisible to my female peers. Going MGTOW has been an easy decision thus far, what scares me is the possibility of having to turn down women in the future. Sex has never been a motivator for me, though. I look at it as risking your livelihood to get your dick wet (with failure rates in typical use of male condoms as high as 18%).

  3. Be careful how you break free. Whether it is in a romantic relationship, a business relationship or even family, some women will become very indignant, very quickly. A lot of women will feel that you owe them your gratitude for making THEIR lives a little easier, your being willing and able to do things for them is somehow THEIR right. If you have made a habit of doing things for them in the past and you start to withdraw your assistance you should be prepared for their anger when you start to hesitate in your servitude.

    1. At a certain pint in your life, when you are becoming a MGTOW, it might be necessary to get rid of some people in your life. Not a very pleasant thought but inevitable sooner or later.

      Some people like relatives will probably stay in your life and the only option here in my opinion is to keep a low profile and avoid going into any discussion about relationships, if you know that they are traditionalists or feminists.

  4. It is interesting to contrast the Maslovian hierarchy of needs to the Freudian approach: Maslow was trying to describe a “fully functional” human being; Freud was trying to treat specific pathologies, so that the Freudian approach is much narrower, but at the same time it is easier to determine whether or not an intervention has been successful. Also, Freud didn’t shoot very high as the standard for “success” in his interventions, as he famously said that the goal of psychoanalysis was to move the individual from neurotic misery to ordinary human unhappiness.

    Given these contrasting approaches, ought contemporary gender relations to be understood in terms of achieving a (utopian) full functionality, or are gender relationships essential broken so that they constitute a specific pathology (i.e., dysfunction) that can benefit from a narrower conception of intervention? In other words, are we in a position to attain self-actualization, or are we merely striving to move up from neurotic misery to ordinary human unhappiness?

  5. A good start for this topic — I did not think of the touch aspect at the workplace — however there is more to be addressed. Specifically how would you go about handling slutty outfits on the streets during summer?

    The look of seduction is interesting too. I have caught myself “interpreting” their look many of times, branching off to various “what if?” reactions. An entire neurosis is started from a sly look.

  6. Sad to say, this knowledge will exist for exactly one generation and then die off. The reason women have it so good is that they control reproduction. If we “go our own way” they just make a new batch of us and “raise them right.”

    1. Aaron you have a lot to learn about women. They are creatures of instant gratification. They don’t have the wherewithal for generational transference of knowledge and behaviors.

      Keep studying bro, you are still talking like a blue pill man who doesn’t understand how biological imperatives work.

  7. Abuamerican .. Aaron doesn’t understand at all does he? (re’tor’eek’ul question)

    Hey Aaron make friends with the enemy and see if they will spare you to last .. because their goal soon will be gender specific / selective ah’bore’shuns. In your case yours will be very late term.

    Its coming Aaron. They already have men getting in front of microphones stating how they are priv’ledged and sorry for being born a man.

    Fem’eye’nis’um is women attempting to be a man .. knowing that they physically can’t .. and thusly attempting to ensure that neither can men.

    In addition ‘th wimminz’ are horrible planners. That’s why abortion is in such high demand. That’s why we need laws such as ‘yes means yes’ (for regret sex dont’cha’know). Being convinced (easily) to work during their most (re)productive years and then wonder where all the good men have gone after the wall. Hint Aaron the men are in search of more fur’tule (i.e. younger) fem’eye’nin women.

    So Aaron .. I’ll bet on biology / gender pre-selection created by GOD before I trust a woman on any subject.

    Or maybe Aaron is a woman troll. In which case .. troll along.

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