Rape Culture-Culture is for You

We’ve been repeatedly told both by name brand feminists, as well as non-feminists practicing modern chivalry that we’re all a part of a “rape culture”. The claim is also that “rape culture” whatever that might be – is a central feature of our society.

But what is rape culture?

It’s the name for a theory that we live in a culture that enables male rapists and shames female victims of rape.

According to conventional thinking, the term was coined by second wave feminists, to describe acceptance of the rape of women. This is a popular but incorrect belief. The term rape culture came from the black civil rights movement of the 1960’s to describe apathy toward the rape of American prison inmates.

The terminology was a powerful encapsulation of the indifference towards the civil rights of inmates within the prison system who were black men. Recognizing the power of that civil rights rhetoric, the women’s movement stole it to describe their claim of apathy towards female rape in civilian society.

And the feminist version of history is now the official version.

And according to them, we are all a part of what they call a rape culture. Susan Brownmiller’s 1975 book “Against our will” defined it as “nothing more or less than a conscious process of intimidation by which all men keep all women in a state of fear.”

Did you catch that? All women living in a state of fear. Not most women, not some women, all of them. And all men, including you, are responsible for it because of a conscious process on your part.

This version of the feminist definition of rape culture may be the most relevant to our current understanding of the term. Despite the 1975 publication, it is still current because Brownmiller’s contributions to organs like Huffpo, salon and the Washington post still promote the book in her contributor’s byline.

It’s this version of that ideology, which now informs a social and legal climate on American college campuses. This version creates the climate in which an accusation of sexual misconduct made by a female becomes automatic guilt by accusation. Through sublimation of that fantasy into broader cultural assumptions, you don’t even need to be a feminist to bang that drum.

In 2011 The US department of education issued a directive framed as a dear colleague letter. This message to colleges was that if they wanted to keep receiving title IX funding, they’d better handle accusations of sexual misconduct with nonjudicial due-process abrogating star chambers. That directive, followed by others is what now informs official policy on college and university campuses.

We are told that college campuses are where the strongest manifestation of rape culture resides. The same colleges which now feature a 65% female population, as that number grows under female favouring affirmative action. And women continue to enroll, taking on massive debt to do so. But they’re taking on that debt so they can participate in what we keep hearing is a female victimizing rape culture.

Does this sound like a coherent view of reality to any of you?

The published data from the DOJ criminal victimization survey shows that rape is the lowest incidenced violent crime tracked by law enforcement.

Despite that fact we, as a society now operate on the default assumption that rape culture is real . The idea is that rape facilitated by cultural assumptions at the same time that rape is an egregious social and criminal offence. So is rape accepted? Or is it a major offence? It can’t be both.

The fact is, rape culture is a false belief nobody except a moron buys into. but due to social pressure to appease feminine sensitivity the mainstream of our culture continues to pretend it is real. We don’t actually live in a rape culture, but we live in a narrative of rape culture that we have to agree with or face severe censure.

What we actually have is a rape-culture-culture. That is not an accidentally repeated word

This is why for a man on a college campus, his standing as a viable person depends on the good behaviour of each female on campus who knows his name.

The slightest offense, whether real or imagined can result in an accusation of sexual misconduct. A sexual encounter which didn’t fulfill every expectation of the female can produce an accusation of sexual misconduct. A man who avoids a sexual encounter that a woman wanted can also result in an accusation of sexual misconduct against him. A girl who did something stupid, like missing an important exam because she slept in, or forgot to write down the date can also result in an accusation of sexual misconduct. That accusation made against a male student whose name she might have picked from a list of the other students in one of her classes.

In any of these accusations of sexual misconduct, there will be no judicial inquiry focusing on evidence. There will be no due process. There will be no presumption of innocence that underlies the western world’s concept of justice. There will be an accusation. There will be a star chamber staffed by college employees and not legal experts. And there will be the destruction of that male student’s academic life and future career.

This is what we now call a rape culture.

The man named in an accusation is the one who’s going to go through that no due process grinder. He is the one who will have his academic career terminated.

This is the part nobody seems to grasp.

The accusation made against him is an attack. It is an attack made on a student, using the elaborate and nearly unstoppable college administrative system. It is a weapon of destruction which is triggered by a few spoken words. I was raped.

In the current system I was sexually assaulted does not mean “I am a victim, help me”. It now means “I am the executioner, destroy him”. The female idea of “I am a victim”, now has an entirely new meaning. It means, “I am filled with wrath, and the enemy I point to shall be besieged to his doom”.

The accusation is really just an order for execution and that order will be carried out by the a school’s administrative staff.

If you are accused, you are assaulted.

Your privacy will be stripped away. Your reputation as a decent human being will be stolen, discarded, and burned. Your education will be taken from you. Your social connections will be destroyed. You will be isolated, and attacked, and smeared. Your job prospects will be closed off. Your accomplishments will be taken away from you.

And it will never stop. The assault on your person will go on for years, and years.

It is a tyrant saying – there is the enemy, destroy him. That boy, attack him, end his life, foreclose his future.

A woman on a college campus who pronounces herself a victim of sexual assault is not a victim, but in fact a sexual predator. She is the rapist. And she is using the system of the schools gender studies faculties and administration as her tool of rape.

An actual victim would have gone to the police.

A victim of a real crime would use the courts, not the administrative staff of a business whose products are massive debt and academic credentials.

This message is for young men on college campuses you are not at risk of being accused of a crime. Being accused of a crime is what happens when somebody makes a report to the police department, whether truthfully or falsely.

What you are actually at risk of is being sexually assaulted or raped through an elaborate college administrative system. This has almost nothing to with your behavior whether inappropriate or not. You are the target of a system designed to attack you from afar in secret, like a sniper shooting from behind concealment.

It is not my goal to dismantle this administrative machine. It is not my goal to drive reform. It is my goal to inform you that rape culture culture is real, and you are the target.

But you’re not the victim. You’d better not be the victim. If you become the victim, I’m going to blame you.

That’s right, I’m going to blame you for being the victim, and all the social justice warriors in the world – the same ones who cry victim-blaming like its a capital crime, they’re going to blame you too.

An accusation of sexual misconduct on a college campus is not an accusation, it’s an assault. More precisely, a sexual assault on you, using administrative proxy.

And it is a violent assault which will not stop until we stop treating it as an accusation, and begin correctly responding to it as violence.

Thank you for your kind attention, and have a lovely day.

How Feminism Helps Men

Author’s Note : the following rant was delivered to a surging crowd of four sturdy individuals who got rained on in Grandview Park in Vancouver BC while I was ranting. Thank you.

The talk:

As men, whether we’re a Men’s Activist, or just Going you Own Way, or a man otherwise lacking self hatred, it’s easy to recognize social violence against ourselves when we look at feminism.

Even this simple observation will be met with shrieks that the definition of feminism is equality – and that anyone who doesn’t agree is a woman hating, evil, shrivelled penis, neck-bearded, rape apologist.

But we’re not using the dictionary as our guide, instead, we’re using our knowledge of the real world in which feminism is just one political camp’s extension of gynocentrism.

And although policies driven by feminism are noxious, and antithetical to civil rights, the feminist enterprise is a surface symptom of a deeper issue.
Did tens of millions of men die during the wars of the world due to feminism? No, they died because in human cultures, men have always been disposable. You, gentlemen, are utilities to be used to your own destruction and discarded when broken.

And the narrative, constructed in recent history of the endless victimization of women and their subjugation by men, is a narrative. It is a story. And the fact that, as a narrative, it does not match with our shared understanding of reality does not matter.

I was a men’s rights activist for many years, and a large part of what I did was to point out the difference between reality as I understood it, and the narrative feminist fantasy of every man being a rapist in potential and every woman an eternal, helpless, child-like victim.

Has anybody ever heard that 1 in 4 women on a university campus will be sexually assaulted? This is a statistic so deeply embedded in the public story of our culture that we can say the words “1 in 4” without saying “women,” or “rape,” almost everybody in earshot will know that we’re talking about the victimization of women. We’re not talking about how many people carry a genetic leaning to contract diabetes, we’re not talking about how many trees in BC are infested with pine beetles. You say 1 in 4, and people just know.

And all the actual statistics, and studies, and law enforcement publication of collected data, will not dislodge that so called fact from public consciousness. It’s false, but it wont go away, and those whose political narrative is bolstered by it have no hesitation to keep trotting it out – false as it is. The real number is closer to 1 in several thousand, for anybody who cares.

But I say don’t fight feminism. Don’t oppose it. Not because it’s not based on lies, it is. And not because it’s violent and hateful, because it’s those things too. Simply because you won’t stop it, and you will end up closer in spirit to the flingers of hate when you try to oppose them.

In fact – if you really are successful in taking the steam out of some feminist campaign or other – your primary impact will be to amplify the sense of victimization that feminists thrive on, and you will energize that sector of the feminist project to greater excesses than they would previously have entertained.

If you need an example of this, just think of Anita Sarkeesian. She’s a grifter and a con artist, and every time this is publicly pointed out, she is re-victimized – and walks away with another fat bag full of cash and a humanist of the year award for her troubles. Debunking is transmogrified to victimhood, and that is the fuel they run on.

There’s another reason to not fight feminism.

It helps men. I know that feminists like to claim this point, but they generally mean something different than what I am suggesting here.

There are a number of people who, in response to feminist driven social policies and laws, now advocate for traditionalism (or a “neo-traditional” model) for male-female relations and family dynamics. Some variation of a traditional family framework is what we generally assume to have been standard prior to what is now a largely feminist social structure.

And it is feminism we have to thank for the abandonment by men of that old social model. The model that put men’s self actualization last in line after the satisfaction of women’s safety, provision, comfort, shopping, and shoes.

But men wouldn’t have woken up to just what a crap deal they were getting if it had not been for the movement we now refer to as feminism. And it wasn’t first, or even second wave feminism that woke men up. It was the current gang of idiots. Being told that all men are rapists, and that’s all they are, wasn’t enough. Being told that in spite of history’s record of male creativity, that women are exactly as creative as men – in fact, they’re more creative. So if you’re a man with a lot of creativity, screw you, you’re a second rater because women are better at the thing you’re best at. The only reason women didn’t invent almost all of civilization is because you and your male ancestors held them down like the tyrant you are.

Being told that when you do things to benefit women, you’re being a sexist, in fact, just as much of a sexist as a guy who actively disparages women. Being told that the way you sit down on public transit is an act of aggression that harms women. Being told if you’re a male feminist that no matter how much you do you’ll never have the esteem granted to female feminists – nothing will ever be enough.

But I still say don’t fight feminism. And the reason is that the stone cold hatred and weapons grade crazy is what men apparently need to break free. But not to break free from feminism, that’s just a symptom. To break free from the deeper problem of gynocentrism. The social force that leads men to die on the job for a wife’s shopping spree and shoes, or to die on a foreign battlefield to keep the price of gas down for soccer moms to fill up their minivans.

With feminism, you are a hated subhuman, still chained to traditional gender role of protect and provide, and die when it’s convenient for others. But without feminism, what we would have is traditionalism – which is where you were a mule chained to a cart, and once in a while you get a carrot.

I don’t think you’re a mule, and I don’t think a carrot is good enough. But it took the excesses of modern feminism to properly wake men up. To wake some men up. It’s going to take more stone cold crazy and weaponized hate to wake the rest up. And that’s why I say don’t fight feminism, don’t oppose it.

In fact, I want to thank modern current wave feminists. They’re the wake up call for men.

You will hate women

I have been studying feminism as an outsider to that ideology for many years – and the following has become clear to me, as I’m sure it is obvious to many of you.

If you are not a misogynist, it is the goal of modern feminism to turn you into one. And they are not fucking around. This is where the feminists put on their A game.

You might not hate women. You certainly weren’t born with hatred in your heart, and if you’ve managed to reach adulthood without a towering contempt for the female sex, feminists will change that. They will not rest until you hate women.

In contrast to men, women, of course cannot be sexist. The argument is that sexism is not simply prejudice, stereotyping, and discrimination, on the basis of sex. According to feminists sexism is prejudice combined with power.

Because women apparently lack the institutional power that men have, they can’t be sexist.

To accept the feminist definition of sexism we must accept that women lack institutional power, secondly we must also accept the claim that sexism doesn’t exist without the added ingredient of power to compliment the bigotry of prejudice and negative stereotyping. Unfortunately this redefinition is nonsense based on a factually false claim.

What’s false? The idea that women lack institutional power. They’re 55 to 65 percent of registered voters. Women control most of the spending of disposable income, regardless of who earns that money. Women control almost all of children’s early development – shaping the minds of everyone in each generation of our society. Women dominate elementary school education, dominating children during their formative years. Women control the family courts. Women are catered to by modern entertainment media, and the post secondary educational climate. Women dominate the HR departments of most medium and large corporations.Women are enshrined as a protected class in national and international human rights law, and have an entire department of the United Nations devoted to their interests. But, apparently, women lack political, social, financial, and institutional power.

And the claim, the one that women lack institutional power – and that sexism doesn’t exist without the added power component is used to justify rampant, blatant, overt, over the top sexism against men of such naked character that it is impossible to distinguish from parody by outsiders.

If that definition doesn’t insult your intelligence and sicken you, then being told you’re a sexist pig because you smiled while being male is sure to have you reaching for your in-flight puke bag.

The project to cultivate your hatred of women is where Feminists really roll out their A game.

But of course, the dictionary says that feminism is nothing more and nothing less than the movement seeking equality for women. Not equality between men and women, no, just equality for women. They’ve so far not been clever enough to cover up that little reveal either.

Pay no attention to the legal activists working their ovaries to the bone to legalize the murder of men by women. Pay no attention to the lies of the domestic violence campaigners pretending that DV is not reciprocal, and hammering the public with endless reiterations of the slogan violence against women.

The guy with defensive slash marks on his hands must have said something to make her attack him, he probably deserved it. Deserved it. Deserved it. Those wounds on his hands and forearms, he deserved that. Fuck him. He has no right to live without fear of somebody smaller than him, who he’s afraid to even defend himself from. He deserved it.

Do you hate women yet? This is all on their behalf, and so far, they’re not opposing it. I hear Katy Perry and Kaley Cuoco have both said they’re not feminists. At least, as public figures they’ve made it clear that the big F brand name isn’t going to increase their take home pay. feminists for their part have executed public shaming campaigns against these cultivated entertainer-personas.

On the other hand, celebrity millionaire actress and United Nations Feminist Ambassador Emma Watson has now reiterated the call for men to put women above themselves, and has cited the multiply debunked wage gap as reason for men’s participation in the gender ideology that hates men. Because of a contrived difference in women’s income, from the mouth of a millionaire actress. Get on your knees and serve your betters boys, because Hermione said so.

Are you insulted yet? Even after the UN Women’s Goodwill Ambassador admitted that feminism was synonymous with the hatred of men, she, in the same speech before the UN called on men to put themselves last and women first.

And apparently, if you do put women first, by holding open doors, practicing chivalry, or even just smiling, you’re as much of a sexist as somebody who actively denigrates and disparages women.
This is a conclusion published in Canada’s National Post, in the UK Telegraph, in the Daily Mail, in several social science publications, as well as in the online satire website, the Onion – all in the same week. So, if you’re male and a sexist bigot, you’re a sexist bigot. Also, if you’re male and not a sexist bigot, you’re still a sexist bigot. Even if you’re so emotionally well balanced that you are truly indifferent to women, if you’re male, you’re probably also a sexist bigot.

Of course, there is nothing quite like an open ended and non-stop public narrative of accusation to drive a climate of dislike for those espousing it. And if you disagree with feminism, then you certainly must hate women. Right?

I told you they’re not fucking around, didn’t I? – the goal of feminism is to cultivate your hatred of women. And they’ll do it while telling you, it’s just about equality, stupid. Can’t you read what it says right in the dictionary, stupid?

How about sex, you know, one of the basic needs all human beings share – well, if you’re male, you’re not just doing it wrong – you’re likely doing it so badly wrong that your physical expression of affection and intimacy is being redefined as a violent crime and you are a criminal offender. Affirmative consent is a legal standard being adopted all over North America which decrees that sex without ongoing, repeated and unambiguous statements of consent, and consent seeking is not consensual sex at all, but rape. In the real world, adults having mutually consensual sex – and who are not mentally deranged by social justice programming, use body language, nonverbal cues and indirect communication in sexual encounters. This means that without a ridiculous mood-killing pantomime of dora-the-explorer style mother-may-I consent kabuki dancing – everybody in the history of the world who bumped their fluffy bits together was either raping or being raped. If you’re not sure which one you are, rapist or rape victim, just check in your pants to see if you have a penis. Rapist!

This isn’t just a fucktarded social standard being adopted by the mental defectives calling themselves social justice warriors, this is manifesting in law. According to one political proponent of this legal fuckery, one of the best features of the legal standard of affirmative consent is that there is no way to actually establish that consent exists in a sexual encounter. Yes, that’s apparently on the plus side. If you’re going to plug and play, you’re going to do it under threat of imprisonment, your life’s destruction and possibly death, based on the whimof whoever you may or may not hook up with. But only if you’re male – obviously, because although women can and occasionally do force, threaten and coerce sex from men, that’s not rape, because men cant be raped.

Oh yeah, and if you’re aware of all this, and decide rationally to just not get involved with women, because it’s a minefield of vicious mind-fuckery – then you’re a pussy. You’re not a rational self possessed man, nope. You’re just a little bitch, according to the few women who’ve even bothered to comment on any of this.

Do you hate women yet, because they’re not done with you you unless, or until you do.
And I’m not even opposed to it. In fact, I encourage this to continue, and I support feminists in their program. I wish them great success in their ongoing effort to cultivate and to amplify your hatred of women. They want you to hate women, and I want them to succeed in cultivating that hatred in you.

Rationality is clearly not going to work. There is a social movement which has, for more than a century – been repeatedly pointing out a pattern of systematic injustice, marginalization and purposeful dehumanization of men. That is to say, dehumanization of you. This social movement has used logic, evidence, carefully sourced statistics and appeals to higher reason and compassion as it’s principal strategies.

So far it has succeeded only in cultivating public contempt for it’s campaigners. Almost nobody is waking up to a rational rejection of social and legal standards that dehumanize men. Although everybody knows about realities like the destruction of males in family court, or the male suicide rate which quadruples that of females – they don’t give a fuck. Not even men care, as long as it’s not themselves on the chopping block.

The 19th century philosopher and historian Ernest Belfort Bax wrote extensively on what he called the legal subjugation of men. Bax was both an entertaining and popular author, who while he was widely read, effected no significant change. The most widely read modern organ addressing the same issues now re-runs many of this author’s articles, demonstrating, they believe the historical validity of the problems still unsolved. Canadian Senator Anne Cools – the longest serving Canadian senator, and the founder of the country’s first women’s shelter speaks frequently on issues affecting men in the Canadian senate. When she does, she is applauded by her colleagues in the senate, and then they vote against her.

Just like the readership of Belfort Bax, 100 years ago, it’s all very interesting – but nobody is actually moved to lift a finger to change anything. Women who benefit from the use of men will not be inconvenienced.

Nobody is unaware that men die earlier. Nobody is unaware that men lack basic civil rights such as reproductive self determination, the right to not finance a woman’s unilateral decision to use his sperm and wallet. Nobody is unaware of the 4 to 1 suicide rate. Nobody is unaware that infant boys are routinely mutilated – a trauma resulting in life long damage to their cognitive function.

Nobody is unaware that law increasingly degrades the civil rights of men, pushing them further into status of a social underclass. But neither men nor women will respond to any of this knowledge with rational rejection of the destructive cultural and legal conventions comprising what we call “society”.
How stupid do we have to be to republish Ernest Belfort Bax a century later, or watch a senior senator applauded and then casually voted down, and learn nothing from the lesson.

Reason can occasionally move an individual. It will have no impact on a society. A person may be rational – people, in plural are not.

So, I support feminism in their real but unacknowledged project. It’s the goal that the feminist ideology and movement is actually serious about, and making real progress towards.

The goal of feminism is to drive men towards hatred of women. When men hate women they have previously always served, then men might finally act to protect themselves from them.

Those of you MRAs, MGTOWs and others who actively hate women, you are feminism’s success stories.

I thank you all for your very kind attention, and please have a lovely day.

She Wants to Screw You.

On March 4th I received an email from a subscriber, and this is what he had to say:

“Hi John I’m a new subscriber. I’m conducting an experiment that is related to your video ‘MGTOW With Benefits’ and I wanted to get your opinion on the matter. I’m involved in an interesting personal experiment. My Ex girlfriend was the final nail in the coffin that lead me to MGTOW, after she dumped me for the cock carousel. She is pursuing me again because I am a hell of a catch. I engage in sex with her for a few reasons, the first the obvious, that she is hot and does what I like, but most importantly my sex relationship with her strengthens my MGTOW resolve. It is a reminder of why I go my own way, but this time around I put myself in the position of control. I never pursue her or ask for sex, when she peruses me I take advantage. It puts me in the dominant polarity because I am fulfilling her needs.”

This is a novel point of view, that this correspondent is in a dominant polarity because he is fulfilling his ex-girlfriend’s needs. His comment continues:

“I also know how she manipulates and lies, and I know all her tricks now that I don’t believe in the mystical NAWALT (not all women are like that). I figure it’s better the scorpion you know than the one you don’t know.”

I think there are more options than just those two. For example, I don’t let people into my bedroom or my life who I know to be manipulating schemers. Better to have no scorpions at all. But our correspondent continues:

“To her I’m just the happy no stress fun loving guy that she has to now chase.”

I’m going to have to interject again. He does not know how she perceives him. This is important and, for his own sake, I hope the gentleman who emailed me is able to realize this. His email continues:

“Sometimes she will want me twice a week, other times we go 3 weeks without a word and that’s fine because my way, my goals for me are number 1 in my life. She is now separate from that and has no link to my goals, every time she chases me I get sex, power, and a reinforcement of why I went my own way. I also make sure to control all the condoms. What are your thoughts on this idea? I’m not saying I’m the first guy to have sex with his ex but most guys fall right back into the game and I look at it as a strategy to strengthen my resolve away from the game.”

I responded to him by email with the following message:

I think the situation you’ve described, that you have an ex girl friend who now pursues you for sex, sounds like it might be a pretty good arrangement. But I say that with a few reservations.

Without the history of having formerly been in an intimate relationship with this woman, it would fit nearly into what I would call a friend with benefits. The point of caution in your particular case is that while this woman was your girlfriend, she dumped you for the “cock carousel” as you describe it. You did not say what the circumstances of this dumping were, so I will not make assumptions about cheating or it being a clean break-up.

However, you did mention that you “know how she manipulates and lies [and] know all her tricks”. I will suggest to you that you know many, and possibly most of her tricks. It is almost certain you don’t know all of them. I’m not saying this to belittle you or your perceptive powers, simply that men are almost always less skilled in social manipulation than women. You have also mentioned that you control the disposal of condoms from your sexual encounters with her. But here are a few other things to consider. You have pointed out that she is manipulative. This suggests that while you both have a mutual benefit in your ongoing periodic sexual hook ups, she is still a game player. If she decides it is to her advantage to manipulate you into some negative outcome, she will do so with no compunction. By your own description, the hook-up arrangement you have is not based on trust. In addition, in believing you are a step ahead in her game of manipulation you are almost certainly wrong. This might chafe the ego a bit, but compared to women, men are less skilled players in manipulation.

I would suggest adding a few behavioural protections, beyond simply controlling condom disposal. The suggestions below are samples. If you implement this practice, you will have to apply your own creativity specific to your personal situation.

1. Once in a while, say no to sex.
You might already be doing this, but if not, start now. If you always say yes, she is controlling you – and not just sexually.

2. Disallow her to leave personal items at your home. Also, don’t leave your items at hers.

This is a territory-marking behaviour. If she already has items at your place, bag them up and have her take them on her next visit. If she does not take them, garbage-can whatever she leaves behind.

3. Give her an opportunity to lie to you.

Do this so that you can observe the lie. When it happens, cut her off for at least a month. I would immediately dump any woman or man who lied to me, even a non-sexual friend, but most men are much much less careful.

These are just a few examples. I suggest them because you have described your ongoing sexual encounters with a known manipulator. The sex might be a significant perk, but you are playing a form of Russian roulette by continuing to associate with somebody you admitted is a manipulative game player.

Be careful.

That was the content of my email response to the individual who contacted me. On some reflection, I thought I might have beneficially expanded on my own response with a bit of additional perspective from a friend who I contacted later. She is particularly adept at spotting female manipulation. I had a chance to talk to my friend on the phone, and read her the original message. Her response was immediate and direct.

She said “I am amazed by the stupidity of this man.”

What follows is a close transcription of her comments, as she related them to me in the call.

“She’s manipulative, we’ve established that.

She is entitled, she has the power and she’s getting what she wants each time.
Even if she’s not a sociopath and is just a typical woman, she’s working from a sense of being entitled. Now, he says that she’s pursuing him again because in his own description he is a hell of a catch. That, she wants him back because he’s a catch – what she would really be after is his utility, that he makes a lot of money or something like that. She may be trying to get back together with him because the business of her doing what he wants sexually is one of the main tactics for roping a guy in. She’s not in it for the sex, because she broke that relationship off to go ride the cock carousel. He said in his email that she’s chasing him for sex because he satisfies her needs. No, he doesn’t. If she was in it for the sex she wouldn’t have broken off the relationship – because before they officially broke up, she almost certainly had sex with other guys. She doesn’t want a romantic relationship with him, and she’s not in love with him, because she broke it off with him.

She’s after something else. The least hostile way to get what she actually is after is re-igniting that romantic relationship. When she learns that she won’t get that result, she will use another method to get it. And if that doesn’t work out for her, then she will hurt him. She will make him suffer. And because these two had an intimate relationship – she knows how to do that.

If he wants to know how she will hurt him, he needs only to think of the one thing he knows she would never do. The thing he believes she could never do. Because she knows that would destroy him. That is exactly why she will do it.”

In this transcription, I have left out each instance that my friend said “that idiot”. It was about a dozen times.

She added that he is playing Russian roulette. I also said this in my initial email back to him. But she said he is doing it with all the chambers loaded.

And if he takes this advice seriously, he now has the problem of getting himself out of the alligator’s jaws with the least amount of injury.

It would be nice if breaking contact with an ex was a simple and safe activity. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Because of the ongoing sexual contact, she is positioned to use a false accusation, should she become angry at his removal of himself from this arrangement.

He needs a record of her pursuit of him for sex. Recorded phone calls or text messages and so on, with sex seeking behaviour from her visible in those messages. Because, as my friend pointed out, right now he is in the perfect set up for a false accusation against himself. The accusation might be rape, it might be assault but it will be tailored to what is most personally devastating to him, based on her intimate knowledge of him. When she clues in that she wont be getting what she’s actually after, which is likely his financial utility, she’s going to get vindictive.

She also might decide that the best way to hurt him is socially, or through his employment and work contacts. To protect himself here, the female friend I consulted suggested he warn his friends and co-workers that he has a stalker he is dealing with. A consulting call to the police is also not a bad idea. This means calling the police non emergency number and notifying them that he is breaking up with somebody who he fears may react to the break up with violence or with accusations.

My friend also said that maybe she’s wrong and this woman just wants sex. But she was laughing hard enough that she couldn’t breathe when she said this.

Rebranding Your Servitude

It’s no news that men are increasingly abandoning marriage. The mainstream has recognized this as ‘men on strike’ or ‘the marriage strike’. For men themselves, the phenomenon of walking away is not a new idea, but has come sharply into focus with the rise of public discussion. Men now abandoning gynocentric social norms have their own name for themselves, Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW). Whether we call this a movement or a phenomenon, or just a fad, it is responsive to devaluation of men’s lives. Of course, the MGTOW phenomenon addresses many of the same issues that self declared men’s rights activist address. But the approach each camp takes to male marginalization differs. Rather than attempting to drive social and legal reform through rhetoric, awareness raising or protest, men on a MGTOW path are walking away.
Continue reading Rebranding Your Servitude

MGTOW – With Benefits

This is the beginning of a series addressing questions sent by email to john@canadiancock.org. I received an email on February 24, and this is what he had to say:

“Hi John, I am just thinking about something and I would really like to hear your opinion on the subject. Some MGTOWs have occasional sex with women. They have One-Night-Stands or “fuck-buddies” or friends with benefits, whatever you want to call it. For me, One-Night-Stands are boring. I have no moral problem with them, I simply don´t find them fulfilling. (That´s already a warning sign for me!) Now some guys seem to be able to enjoy casual sex with women, or at least they claim that they are able to do that. But I have my doubts if that is really so easy. Of course it could be just me, because that “romantic touch” has always been something that I needed, whenever I had sex with a woman in the past. (Again a warning sign!) I personally am very sceptical if I would be able to have sex with a woman that I find really attractive and charming., without falling into her trap after a while. Now, maybe that´s just me and a sign that I am still suffering from that pussy-addiction.
Continue reading MGTOW – With Benefits